Last year on Mother’s Day I found out that I was pregnant.  This year I got to spend the day with my precious little baby girl.  It was a fantastic day.  A day filled with baby snuggles, walks in the sunshine, a special gift, and a family dance party.  I couldn’t have asked for a better day.

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This day also made me reflect on how my journey into motherhood.  Before I was pregnant, and even before Hubby and I started trying for a baby, I wanted to be a mom so badly it hurt.  Whenever a friend would announce their pregnancy my jealousy would always overcome my happiness for them.  I felt that I just needed to be a mom to feel complete.  That I was made to be a mom.
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Now that I am a mom, I feel like I wasn’t made for this.  That I’m not complete.  That I’m just surviving and not actually enjoying this precious time with such a loving, adorable, happy baby girl.  Don’t get me wrong, I love her to bits; she’s a part of me that I just can’t get enough of.  I just can’t help but feel that I also lost a piece of myself; that all I am now is a mom.  I feel like I’m so focused on being a mom, that I’m having a hard time figuring out how to also be a wife, daughter, sister, and friend.  I feel a little out of balance.  I also feel that I can’t be honest about my feelings a lot of the time.  People ask how motherhood is going and I respond with “It’s great, I love her so much” when I really want to say that “It’s okay but I’m really struggling with finding a balance in my new life”.

Please don’t take this for any more than it is.  It’s just real talk.  I love my baby, I’m happy I’m a mom, and I’m working on finding a balance.  It’s just taking a little time.

Part of the balance is getting myself back in the kitchen.  I really miss trying new recipes, and preparing good food to fill us up.  So tonight I did just that.  I made curried chicken with coconut rice and I even felt like my old self again.

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CURRIED CHICKEN WITH COCONUT RICE
from Shutterbean

10 piece of chicken (I used boneless, skinless chicken thighs)
4 teaspoons curry powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
salt
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
5 garlic cloves, minced
3 tablespoons fresh ginger, minced
1 medium yellow onion, diced
2 tablespoons basmati rice
1 can (13.5 oz / 400 mL) unsweetened coconut milk
2 cups water
fresh cilantro

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Toss chicken with curry powder, cayenne, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. In a large Dutch oven (or other heavy pot) heat 2 teaspoons oil over high. In batches, cook chicken until browned on all sides. Transfer to a large plate and set aside.

Reduce heat to medium and add 1 teaspoon salt the oil, garlic, ginger, and onion. Cook, stirring and scraping up browned bits with a wooden spoon, until onion is translucent (about 6 minutes). Stir in tomato paste. Add rice, coconut milk, and water; stir to combine.  Bring to a boil.  Once boiling, arrange chicken in pot cover, and transfer to oven. Bake in the oven until chicken is cooked through and liquid is absorbed, about 20 to 30 minutes. Sprinkle with cilantro and serve.

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